Monday, October 11, 2010

Please.

I really wish that I could just do the things that I loved all the time. Seriously I want to just be a person who is constantly happy... instead I am up for hours procrastinating my Spanish paper to the point that is is hardly a page long and I accepted it. I am never going to get the grades good enough to be a teacher. I want to be a teacher so badly but instead I make bad choices and I have fun making them. I want to do something in entertainment but I will just be another floater in society who doesn't love their profession. I am really full of creative ideas and funny things. I crack people up all the time and I really believe God gave me that gift and I am wasting it. People listen to me when I talk and believe the things I say. I am sincere and apparently partially narcissistic if we go on the fact I am just writing about myself and my good traits right now. Like I just want to mean something to someone that I don't know personally. Is that a weird wish? I want to make a difference or inspire someone to be happy. I want to inform and share knowledge. Maybe I will write a book? But I have no clue what I would write it on or for that matter if it would be non-fiction or fiction. My life is interesting mostly and I feel like I should be able to share it but I lack the ability at this time. I am not like the Shaytards... I don't have 4 adorable children and my life in line. People like to watch that. People like people who have their life set out and stable... I am not Philip Defranco.. I can't tell the news like he does... he already does it! If I had a team of people or something I really think I could make a difference. Until then I will live this life that is half happy and half lived. So much for emo Mondays. I guess I will just have to put the fork in the garbage disposal.
If you got that reference then we would probably have things in common.

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